The Courage To Be Disliked

The Courage to Be Disliked followers the foundation of Adlerian psychology. It is written as  a dialog between a teacher and a student. It is difficult to get into if I read in short
excerpts. When I had time to read longer I was able to get the gist of the conversation and it made a little more sense.

There were a few tidbits, but I started paying closer to the end and bookmarked a few that resonated with me.

Page 118 Do not Satisfy the Expectations of Others

Wanting to be recognized for your accomplishments. Of course, we all want to be acknowledged and receive a pat on the back and hear "job well done" but what if you don't? This really hit home for me. For the last 20 years, I have dedicated my time and resources to a nonprofit I created for our local cemetery. Any newsworthy event that took place at the cemetery was because of me. I"m not saying this to brag, but to understand the position I was in. Four years ago I took a part-time job at the cemetery working in the office. I remember one of my first days there, my new boss mentioned she had just returned from a luncheon which recognized all the volunteers who had worked with the other departments of Park and Recreation, which the cemetery was under. She told me "Will (the former supervisor) should have had to you there." It was the first I ever heard of it. So I expected her to fix the situation and take me the next time-yup your guessed it-4 years later, not a peep. There were times when I wanted to just say ________ it, and stop doing it. Why should I care if they don't care and recognized me? Then I read this passage in the book-

I realized I didn't need praise, acknowledgment from anyone to feel what I was doing was of value. This is really what wanting praise is about. If we don't hear from outside of ourselves we have done a great job or even a simple thank you-then we assumed it is not of value or that we are of value. Yet deep down inside I knew that wasn't the case. If they didn't recognize the value I brought, then that was on them, not me. I know what I am doing is valuable. I think the message was you have to be your own cheerleader and be pleased with what you have accomplished or created because if you only look for the acknowledgment from outside-chances are you aren't going to receive it.

Page 138 Desire for Recognition makes you unfree

We all have expectations put upon us, almost from the moment we are born. We are expected to act a certain way to fit in with the norm. I grew up with this attitude. Everything I did, my mom said was weird-I'm just weird, so of course, I think something is wrong with me and I am afraid to let others know my passions and my interests as they also may consider me weird.  I wonder how my life would have been different if I had lived how I wanted as a wife and mother and not let others dictate what was expected. To just do what I wanted to do-which thank God I am doing that now.

Page 145 if you are doing what you truly want to do the chances are you will be disliked as you will not be following the expectations of what you should be doing set by others. You are allowing others to dictate how you should live etc. When you toss aside the fear of upsetting people and take the courage to piss people off, you may at last find freedom.

Page 228- Focusing on criticism-this is so prevalent in this day and age of social media. You finally take the step and share a piece of content with the world. You receive  10 amazing comments. Then there will be that one-that one hateful comment and I bet you, that's the one you focus on and make the judgment call that everyone on the internet is cruel and hateful, but what about the other 10. Those are the ones you should be focusing on.

Page 245 Life Is a Series of Moments
We don't take the time to be present in the now. For me, the stress of building a business to create the income we need to survive has at times been overwhelming. I'm so focused on I have to be doing this or is it doing that, that being in the moment escapes. Life is a series of dots, not a straight line. I think we all know that. But my thought was, what if I recognized each dot, that is connected to the next dot and then the next. Not really focusing on the end of the line-but the dots themselves. To give each dot the time and appreciation it deserved? Instead of focusing at what is at the end of the line-focus on the steps, each small step-allow those steps, those dots to be the most important focus and they will take you to the end of the line that you seek. Each moment is a journey and we need to basically slow down and appreciate the journey we are on, instead of feeling rushed to get to the finish line.

The past doesn't matter was one concept discussed others found difficult. I don't think the author meant the past didn't matter or didn't exist, I believe the message was not to live in the past or allow the past to dictate your present. There are so many who are stuck and use the past as an excuse.  They couldn't do this because their mother didn't praise them or nothing you did was good enough-now you could allow yourself to stand firm in those beliefe created by others or move out of them.  There are many people who have overcome life's obstacles that we can't even fathom, but did not allow that to define who they were. We can easily choose to take the easy way out and blame others for why we are not successful or happy, or we can take that crap ass past and turn it on its head and make us stronger.

Creating a Goddess Haven? Are you In?

I enjoy the relationships one can develop in the cyber world. I have met some of the most incredible people from across the globe. We share our passions, our triumphs and our struggles.

 December of last year, I was introduced to the Goddess Circle, by another one of my friends who lives in South Africa. The Goddess Circle, was created, but the soulful, Leonie Dawson who lives in Australia.
I joined mostly for the business courses, but found so much more. I found a community of incredible women, each working with each other to support, advice and cheer each other on. I entered into an amazing Mastermind group that meets every Tuesday on Skype. Members are from all corners of the globe, the UK, Brazil, Chicago and Ireland (in fact Halina lives on 4 1/2hours from where my ancestors lived)

Leonie  developed some amazing courses that have inspired me, and moved me forward,  not only in my business, but in my every day life. Leonie's courses come from such a unique perspective that it is impossible not to be as enthused as she is.

Starting March 1st  The Create Your Goddess Haven course begins. This six week course will take you through the steps to create your Goddess Haven in your home. I've read thorough the first few weeks and the exercises are amazing and not so rigid as many of those other declutter courses. I am looking forward to this next adventure with my fellow goddesses as we work together to create the haven we all dream about.

I am planning on sharing the process-at first some of the pictures will be scary, however, I know, a transformation will take place and I am looking forward to this journey. I hope you will join me. If you decide you are interested in taking part of this 6 week course I've included a link below for you.

Yes I want to create a Goddess Haven.

Fifty and Fabulous!

That is what I keep trying to tell myself as my 50th looms just around the corner. The milestone doesn't take place until April of 2013, but it seem so very close. I had lunch with a friend the other day, who is a young 48. She tells me she can't wait until she is 50! I don't know maybe they spiked the Lavender/Lemonade! When you are 30, fifty seems so far away, when you turn 40, well you still have a bit of time left to check more things off of your bucket list-like visiting Sligo Ireland, the ancient city of Petra, or climbing to Machu Picchu-just to name a few. After all life ends at 50 doesn't it? Once 50 arrives you are much too old to do all of those things you have dreamed about. I don't know, maybe it had something to do with the characters I have reenacted. Not one of them lived past the age of 50.
However, I am trying a new outlook on the milestone year, all to fast approaching. I discovered a wonderfully successful beautiful hippy chick from Australia who is living her dream by being her authentic self. Leonie Dawson is such a breath of fresh air. So in stead of waiting for the end, maybe its time to look at as the beginning.
Below is a video from Lets Bloom On-a blog for Baby Boomers. Now to give you fair warning, Jane Fonda is the speaker. Now I know she stirs up just a bit of controversy, maybe rightfully so, but my dear women friends, set aside your opinions and just listen to her words-and let me know if you are ready to begin your third chapter.

Are You Ready to Begin Your Third Chapter?

Dream Your Dreams

We all have dreams, some of them small, some of them huge. No matter what, we should never give up on those dreams. There will be naysayers and those who will tell you you can't. But its those, who should give us the most inspiration to persevere and full fill those dreams.
I am working on creating a history presentation for 1912. There is so much information to share and finding the right combination of facts and fun, is frustrating. However, my biggest road block right now is having the faith in myself to bring this to an audience. Many of you may have watched the following video, but it is inspiring, empowering no matter how many times you watch it. If this woman, filled with the belief in herself,could take her dream to an audience what is stopping the rest of us from making dreams a reality.
Happy Friday and keep dreaming..........
Share your dreams and watch them unfold.........................................

Dream Your Dreams (Click Here to Watch This Video)

6 Hops to Get Things Done

My adult life has consisted of raising children and a husband, but on top of that, I have faced a life time struggle of being organized and getting things done.
I am busy all day long, from 7am to 9pm and it seems like nothing ever gets done and it becomes very frustrating.
Every year I purchase a new planner, Covey, Day Timer, etc have been many of the brands which are now taking up valuable real estate in my home. Each one was to be THE ONE. The one minder that would keep me organized and on top of things. Well guess what, each one failed. I guess its really not the fault of the minder, but the person behind the minder, ME.
I am subscribed to many organizing newsletters and most of them say the same thing. Do no do more than 6 tasks per day. Well you know, that is  not a bad idea. After all 6 tasks does not sound like a lot. Of all of the organizing gurus out there, I find the most useful information from the Organizing Queen or Marcia Francois. In this day where everyone is plugged in and attached to their smart phones, it is comforting to know there is someone, like me, who prefers writing on paper and not in any particular manner.
 Just get the thoughts out of your head and onto paper. I actually have been trying the last few days and I must say things are getting done and I am staying on top of things. However, what happens on a day when you have 6 tasks to do but everything else gets in the way, and then the next day? Well you certainly don't carry those items onto the following days and adding more.
You stop adding any more to the rest of the week until those tasks are done. Its ok if you are not accomplishing those 6 things you have written down. Chances are, like me you are doing way more than 6 things. If you write down 6 things on Monday and then 6 more things on Tuesday, and have been unable to check off most of them off, STOP, do not add anything to the rest of the week and just concentrate on those 12 things you wrote on the first of the week.
This year I found, what I finally believe is the perfect planner.

A beautiful weekly/monthly calendar by Day Runner. I have recently found myself drawn to simple beauty with vintage appeal, however, that style is hard to find. I never really cared for the vertical format of this type of weekly calendar, but I figured out finally, how to incorporate the sage of advice of 6 tasks a day with my vertical format and so far its working very well. At last I feel as if I am finally in control, if only for a little while.