excerpts. When I had time to read longer I was able to get the gist of the conversation and it made a little more sense.
There were a few tidbits, but I started paying closer to the end and bookmarked a few that resonated with me.
Page 118 Do not Satisfy the Expectations of Others
Wanting to be recognized for your accomplishments. Of course, we all want to be acknowledged and receive a pat on the back and hear "job well done" but what if you don't? This really hit home for me. For the last 20 years, I have dedicated my time and resources to a nonprofit I created for our local cemetery. Any newsworthy event that took place at the cemetery was because of me. I"m not saying this to brag, but to understand the position I was in. Four years ago I took a part-time job at the cemetery working in the office. I remember one of my first days there, my new boss mentioned she had just returned from a luncheon which recognized all the volunteers who had worked with the other departments of Park and Recreation, which the cemetery was under. She told me "Will (the former supervisor) should have had to you there." It was the first I ever heard of it. So I expected her to fix the situation and take me the next time-yup your guessed it-4 years later, not a peep. There were times when I wanted to just say ________ it, and stop doing it. Why should I care if they don't care and recognized me? Then I read this passage in the book-
I realized I didn't need praise, acknowledgment from anyone to feel what I was doing was of value. This is really what wanting praise is about. If we don't hear from outside of ourselves we have done a great job or even a simple thank you-then we assumed it is not of value or that we are of value. Yet deep down inside I knew that wasn't the case. If they didn't recognize the value I brought, then that was on them, not me. I know what I am doing is valuable. I think the message was you have to be your own cheerleader and be pleased with what you have accomplished or created because if you only look for the acknowledgment from outside-chances are you aren't going to receive it.
Page 138 Desire for Recognition makes you unfree
We all have expectations put upon us, almost from the moment we are born. We are expected to act a certain way to fit in with the norm. I grew up with this attitude. Everything I did, my mom said was weird-I'm just weird, so of course, I think something is wrong with me and I am afraid to let others know my passions and my interests as they also may consider me weird. I wonder how my life would have been different if I had lived how I wanted as a wife and mother and not let others dictate what was expected. To just do what I wanted to do-which thank God I am doing that now.
Page 145 if you are doing what you truly want to do the chances are you will be disliked as you will not be following the expectations of what you should be doing set by others. You are allowing others to dictate how you should live etc. When you toss aside the fear of upsetting people and take the courage to piss people off, you may at last find freedom.
Page 228- Focusing on criticism-this is so prevalent in this day and age of social media. You finally take the step and share a piece of content with the world. You receive 10 amazing comments. Then there will be that one-that one hateful comment and I bet you, that's the one you focus on and make the judgment call that everyone on the internet is cruel and hateful, but what about the other 10. Those are the ones you should be focusing on.
Page 245 Life Is a Series of Moments
We don't take the time to be present in the now. For me, the stress of building a business to create the income we need to survive has at times been overwhelming. I'm so focused on I have to be doing this or is it doing that, that being in the moment escapes. Life is a series of dots, not a straight line. I think we all know that. But my thought was, what if I recognized each dot, that is connected to the next dot and then the next. Not really focusing on the end of the line-but the dots themselves. To give each dot the time and appreciation it deserved? Instead of focusing at what is at the end of the line-focus on the steps, each small step-allow those steps, those dots to be the most important focus and they will take you to the end of the line that you seek. Each moment is a journey and we need to basically slow down and appreciate the journey we are on, instead of feeling rushed to get to the finish line.
The past doesn't matter was one concept discussed others found difficult. I don't think the author meant the past didn't matter or didn't exist, I believe the message was not to live in the past or allow the past to dictate your present. There are so many who are stuck and use the past as an excuse. They couldn't do this because their mother didn't praise them or nothing you did was good enough-now you could allow yourself to stand firm in those beliefe created by others or move out of them. There are many people who have overcome life's obstacles that we can't even fathom, but did not allow that to define who they were. We can easily choose to take the easy way out and blame others for why we are not successful or happy, or we can take that crap ass past and turn it on its head and make us stronger.
